


at the slightest word

by meowrails



Series: magic fingers [4]
Category: Doctor Strange (2016)
Genre: Dirty Talk, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gender Dysphoria, M/M, Menstruation, Trans Male Character, Trans Stephen Strange, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-28
Updated: 2017-03-28
Packaged: 2018-10-12 02:10:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10479738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meowrails/pseuds/meowrails
Summary: Stephen tries to distract himself from upcoming events with sex.It doesn't work.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This started out as a simple PWP then turned into something more. I had to finish it, I stayed up until three am until I could. It's a matter dear to my heart, as a trans guy myself, and wanted to write the struggle from stephen's perspective.
> 
> You don't need to read the other fics in the series to understand this one, but it helps.
> 
> As always, words like cunt/pussy/clit are used. If that makes you uncomfortable, I don't suggest reading. Also, this fic includes a raw discussion on trans dysphoria. If you fear that will make you dysphoric, I suggest you read with caution.
> 
> Comments and kudos are appreciated!

The first time Stephen described himself as a ‘sex demon’ when he was close to getting his period, Karl thought he was joking. 

He wasn’t. 

He’d met sex demons before--succumbi, if you will. Ignoring the fact that they tried to used his deepest desires when trying to get him, or anyone, into having sex with them, they’ve all been fairly well-mannered and reasonable. Karl was stronger than most sorcerers, able to withstand their wistful promises and frankly extremely arousing propositions. They left him alone afterwards, a sort of respect for humans that actually had spines, and decided to use their efforts with someone who would succumb to their wishes.

Stephen was more irritating than any sort of succubi, and with far more irresistible propositions.

Sometimes, the man really had him wrapped around his finger. Perhaps it was because he’d never been with a man like Stephen, both physically and mentally. Perhaps it also had something to do with the fact that he hadn’t been with a man, or anyone, since he joined Kamar-Taj--apart from his short fling with Wong many, many years ago.

Well, to be fair, the fact that Stephen was in his period never really stopped them. Mordo had been stained by the blood of enemies and creatures before, having his lips covered in Stephen’s blood and cum while he ate the man out against the wall to watch him writhe and whimper above him didn’t turn him off in the slightest.

Which was why he constantly found himself with a hand down the man’s pants--well, it was a skirt this time--so often the week before.

He knew Stephen’s period was soon, he’d been forced to keep track of it or else the man would forget, and was not only uber-sensitive but uber-needy. 

Not to mention incredibly hungry all the time. Thankfully, ever since he joined Kamar-Taj, the tea their former Sorcerer Supreme taught him to make alleviate his cramps.

He was pretty sure the woman had been the only one who knew about Stephen’s secret. The poor man couldn’t afford his usual pills when he came, it was a miracle that his beard continued to grow. Stephen told him that it wasn’t until she gave him natural supplements instead that he managed to go back to his usual state, and grew muscle once more. He looked happy again, glowing even. Karl remembered the day Stephen shaved and cut his hair, he looked reborn and beautiful.

Stephen had answered his compliment with a coy wink. The man was ridiculous. 

As it turned out, going back on testosterone increased someone’s sex drive tenfold. As if Stephen wasn’t already exhausting enough.

And now that they were Masters of the Sanctum together, living in New York, where it was far easier to get that sort of medicine than in Kathmandu, Stephen could get the proper supplement he needed. Which made him even more of a hormonal mess once more. Stephen claimed that he hadn’t felt this way since he was in his early twenties. (Karl bought it for him, Stephen protested and claimed that he would pay him back every time. The man’s pride would probably never leave.)

They were supposed to be studying, reading ancient texts in order to perform a spell that Wong wanted them to do in order to strengthen the barriers, but the man kept writhing in his seat. He wasn’t touching himself, both of his hands were on the table as they read the texts together, but his head was clearly in the clouds. Stephen kept licking his lips, face flushed and eyes kept darting towards Karl lips. 

It was getting hard to ignore. They had duties, both Stephen as the new Master of this Sanctum and Karl as his mentor. He gritted his teeth and continued to read the texts.

Minutes passed of undisturbed yet tense silence, until Stephen placed a hand over his own. Not moving it, simply stroking it and looking for warmth. Eventually Karl felt his lover’s head rest on his shoulder, he’d scooted their chairs closer until Stephen was practically cuddling with him.

“I know what you’re doing. We need to focus on this.” He said. Stephen was drawing circles on his chest with trembling fingers. Karl’s hand found itself on the small of Stephen’s back, holding him in place. 

“I can’t focus like this, all I can focus on is you.” Stephen’s voice felt as sweet as honey. He knew exactly how Karl felt about it, how easily it could disarm him. 

He finished reading the page he was on before answering. “What are you thinking about instead of the texts?”

Stephen bit his lip. On purpose. Karl used all of his willpower not to bite it back. “I’m thinking about how it would nice to put them somewhere else and have you bend me over the table.”

“Stephen...”

“Karl, please. At least touch me, you don’t even have to fuck me, you can keep reading, just your fingers.” Each word was accentuated with a kiss to his jaw. “Please.”

He huffed, then sighed. Stephen was still writhing on his chair, staring at him with half lidded eyes. “Karl?”

“Fine, get on my lap.”

Stephen obeyed instantly, sitting on one of Karl’s thighs with a cocky grin on his face. Back against his lover’s chest, he hoped the man couldn’t feel how fast his heart was racing. His fingers ghosted over Stephen’s thighs for a moment before slipping a hand underneath his skirt, only to find already wet, heated flesh and nothing else. 

“Did you plan this?” Karl asked, voice rough and low.

“Mm, no. Just didn’t feel like wearing anything under there.” Stephen sighed happily, settling his head on Karl’s shoulder. 

“You are lucky we are alone.”

Stephen spread his legs further apart, his fingertips teased the man’s hole, completely avoiding his clit. He felt a ragged breath against his ear. “That never stopped you from fingering me in the library.” 

Karl chuckled, resting his chin on Stephen’s shoulder as he continued to read the ancient texts. It wasn’t the first time he read with a finger inside Stephen, teasing him and having him bit back his moans while Karl ignored his pleads, but the man was on top of him now, openly writhing and being as loud as he wanted. The first time they did this was back in Kamar-Taj, Wong was busy listening to music on the aisle beside them with Karl was three fingers deep inside of his student. 

The sorcerer reached a hand to hike up his skirt to touch himself along with Karl’s hand, desperately stroking his clit. The man was dripping, wetter than usual, sensitive and loving every moment of it. Karl used all of his willpower in order to focus on his reading, but Stephen took his hand in his own and managed to budge in another finger, the man was probably desperate to be full. Karl almost felt pity for him.  _ Almost. _

He was practically riding his fingers at this point. “Master Mordo, I can feel you against me.” He knew fully well what those words did to him--the  _ brat _ . Karl pumped his fingers into his cunt, a thumb circling his clit in retaliation. He heard Stephen whimper and melt into his lap, he allowed himself to smirk at the sight.

“Pass the page for me, dear.” Karl pressed a kiss to his lover’s cheek as he spoke casually, as if he didn’t have three fingers inside the man’s cunt. 

Stephen panted and did as told. A curse escaped his lips, which earned him a playful bite on his ear. He clearly wasn’t reading any more, watching Stephen struggle to keep himself seated on his lap was far more interesting.

For once, Wong could wait. 

“Are you close?” Karl’s voice was cocky and teasing. The kind he used when they were sparring, or in order to have to reply to Stephen’s terrible jokes. He deliberately stopped touching the man’s clit and felt Stephen clench around him. 

Stephen huffed, a bead of sweat fell down his temple. “Not when you aren’t actually touching me.”

He felt one of the man’s shaking hands reach down and begin to palm his cock through his clothes. Thankfully, he wasn’t in his robes, just the few bits of casual clothing he owned that he only wore when he was sure they would be alone. Stephen slipped a hand underneath his pants, turning his head to give him a wink as he did so, and stroked his cock.

They locked eyes, he watching as Stephen bit his lower lip and tilted his head towards the table. He didn’t need the man to say a single word to know what he meant.

Within seconds, Stephen ended up with his back against the table, the ancient texts just right about his head, and a blissful look on his face as he helped to rid Karl of his pants. 

“Fuck me. Come on--” His submissive, pliant facade left and was replaced by the Stephen he knew. The demanding, pushy Stephen that kept arching his back and wrapping his legs around his waist to pull him closer. The Stephen that was dripping into polished wood, who would whine when Karl deliberately avoided his cunt, the head of his cock simply grazing against his lips. A chuckle crossed his face and Stephen rose his head to bite his lip in revenge. Not to hard, not enough to draw blood, but hard enough to make Karl growl back.

“I’ll do it again if you don’t fuck me already.” 

He pressed a kiss to Mordo’s bottom lip. 

“Wait--We need a condom.”

“I’m on birth control you  _ asshole _ .” 

Right, Karl had bought that for him as well, recently.

He muttered a quick ‘christ’. They were doing this. Why was he even surprised at this point.

He moved all the texts and scrolls out of the table with a wave of his hand, making sure that they landed safely close by. Stephen was whining, nipping and kissing at his jaw and trying to pull his closer. Karl couldn’t do anything until he was sure the texts were far from any fluids, but he felt Stephen’s desperation in his own heart.

“I don’t know how to feel about you like this, most of the time you regain some dignity when we do this. Some subtlety.” 

Stephen gave him a wicked smile. “Well, you always like it when I’m dramatic.” To accentuate his point, Stephen threw his head back and moaned, breathless and eyes fluttering. ‘ _ Oh, Master Mordo...’  _ He said, changing back to his sly appearance again instantly. Karl felt his ears grow incredibly hot. “See, you like it when I act like that.”

“Are you telling me most of the time you make that sound, it is an act?” His voice was low, rumbling to bite at Stephen’s earlobe. The American didn’t reply, he only acted innocent at his words, as if he didn’t understand him.

“I’ll show you acting, you little brat.” 

Stephen bit his lips and spread his legs, one hand holding his lover arm’s and another dragging quick circles over his clit. He already looked debauched, cheeks pink and--oh, his clothes was gone. Karl hadn’t even noticed at first, but now Stephen was completely bare, writhing beneath him, staring back at him with excitable eyes. “Talk to me then. Get me all loud and desperate.”

“That is barely a challenge with you.” Karl pressed the head of his cock to Stephen’s cunt. 

He was already struggling not to make any noise, but he was drenched and letting out heavy breaths. Karl smirked against his cheek. “You picked a losing battle, my love.”

Stephen continued to bite his lips as Karl moved inside him, the only sounds that escaped him was his small panting, trying to hold back any sound. The man was stubborn, he had a smile on his face, eyes closed at the pleasure of it, teasing Karl. He was having none of this.

Karl held the back of Stephen’s knees and placed his legs on either side of his shoulders. He leaned down, amazed at his lover’s new found flexibility and pushed  _ deep _ , until he was completely inside Stephen’s cunt. The man beneath him gritted his teeth, looking up pleadingly at him, but still making no sound. His fingernails dragged against the wooden table. Karl tapped it once and reinforced it with magic so it wouldn’t break, no matter how roughtly he fucked the sorcerer’s pussy.

“You are such a brat, you know that? You can’t resist having your teacher’s cock inside you all the time, can’t you?” Karl began, enjoying the sight of Stephen’s face as it turned beet red. He wasn’t technically Stephen’s teacher anymore, they were both masters, but they were well aware of the difference in power. Of their former dynamic. Not to mention that Stephen visibly shuddered at his words. “I should get you a plug. Two of them, keep you loose in your cunt and arse just for me.”

He moved painstakingly slow inside Stephen. Karl wanted nothing more that to fuck him senseless, but he wanted the man to  _ beg _ .

Stephen breathed through his nose, trying not to focus on Karl’s face that loomed above his own, whispering obscenities to try to make him crack. “Or maybe I could share you. What if Wong walked in right now, saw me taking you like this? Both of us could take you, two masters using their the amateur student, and you would love it. You’d beg for it wouldn’t you?”

Stephen gave him an almost imperceptible nod. Karl continued, “No wonder you liked it so much when I touched you in the library. When I ate you out in the communal bathrooms. We did so in the mirror dimension but you wanted people do watch, didn’t you? You wanted people to see that you are mine, you wanted someone to join in and fuck you until you couldn’t breathe.”

He was still moving slowly, one hand reaching down to tease at his clit. Stephen’s hips bucked, his legs trembled on his shoulders. “I could leave you like, you know. Leave you aching and begging, unable to touch yourself, laid bare so anyone could walk in and see you like this.”

He moved his lips to kiss at Stephen’s neck when he heard a small sound.

Stephen saw the smirk on his face as he rose his head once more. He looked away, red faced and embarrassed at his loss. “What did you say?”

He pursed his lips. Karl pressed his mouth to kiss him, coaxing his lips open once more, feeling Stephen gasp into his mouth. He moved his hips back and thrusted inside Stephen again,  _ hard, _ and finally managed to make him whimper. “That’s it, trust your teacher.”

Stephen arched his back and parted his lips. “ _ P-Please _ ...”

That earned him a chuckle. “‘Please’ what, Stephen? Use your words, my love.”

Karl moved once more, just to be cruel. Stephen’s eyes almost rolled back to his skull at the feeling. “God, just fuck me. Please.  _ Please. _ ”

His lover finally obliged and placed his hands on either side of Stephen’s hips, holding him in place as he moved roughly inside his cunt. Stephen reached down to stroke his clit, letting out every sound that he’d been holding back since they started. Loud whining and ‘oh!’ that made his lips pink, plush shape into a heart. Karl moved a hand to run his thumb over them, Stephen began to suck his fingers. 

No, Karl wanted to hear him, all of him. He pulled his fingers out of his lips and continued to move without mercy, feeling slick drip from Stephen’s cunt, thrusting hard enough to break the table if it wasn’t for his magic. Stephen arched his back again and almost  _ yelled _ , letting out a litany made of his lover’s name. He was close, so close, Karl wanted to watch him crumble down beneath him. 

Stephen came with a shout, clenching around Karl’s cock, causing him to groan. Completely spent and gasping for air. Karl continued to move into his overly sensitive cunt, the poor man whimpered as if he was going to break. Karl couldn’t get enough of it.

“Cum inside me.” He managed to say between his breathlessness. Stephen spread his legs and gave him an exhausted, satisfied smile. Karl thought he would melt at the sight.

He did, finishing with a groan inside Stephen’s sex. When he pulled out, it dripped down his thighs and on the table. Karl was half tempted to clean it off with his tongue, but he was wrapped in the sight of it.

Stephen giggled, “Enjoying the view?”

“Very much so.”

“Let’s hope this birth control works again.”

Karl pouted, but it wasn’t his choice to make. Stephen probably wouldn’t be comfortable bearing children, he already hated the reminder his period gave him every month, which was probably why Stephen prefered to distract himself from it with sex. 

Stephen raised and eyebrow and sat up, their lips meeting once more. “What are you thinking about?”

“I was just thinking about how handsome you are.” Karl lied. As much as the man enjoyed being called ‘pretty’ and ‘beautiful’, nothing made his cheeks pinker at the sound of someone saying he was a handsome man. “And how much of a pain in the arse you can be. We are supposed to be reading.”

“I already memorized them.” Stephen waved his hand dismissively. “Anyway, I’m sated. At least for today. Or a few hours.”

“You are impossible, aren’t you?”

Stephen felt himself be lifted up by Karl, until he was being carried to their bathroom. He wrapped his arms around the man’s neck. “Told you. Sex demon.” 

“And you have me wrapped in your spell.”

The American tilted his head and giggled again. Christ, Karl cared for him. Loved him, even, but he would have to buy the man a vibrator or  _ something _ . Stephen was going to end up being the death of him.  
  


\----

 

Karl awoke hours later to the sound of hushed, choked back sobbing.

He looked at his surroundings. He was in their room, covered by bedsheets and his duvet. A yawn escaped him, he heard the sobs turn into a whimper. 

A nightmare, again. Stephen was having one of his usual nightmare.

Karl sat up alongside his lover, noticing that his shoulders were shaking, pale back illuminated by the moonlight that shined through the windows.

He had nightmares too, he understood. Only Karl was better at hiding them.

“Stephen, my love, it’s okay.” He pressed a comforting hand to the man’s lower back. “Dormammu cannot hurt you.”

The sorcerer refused to face him, cleaning his tears with the back of his shaking hands. 

“Stephen, he can’t hurt you anymore. You defeated him, bravely. All sins have been paid for. You are safe.”

His lover voice felt like sandpaper, red hot anger dripping from every word. “It’s not about him, for once.”

Karl wished the man would look at him, he wanted to understand. “What troubles you?”

The laugh that escaped him felt hollow. “I haven’t felt like this since I was a twelve year old girl.”

“Stephen--”

“It was hard being me in Nebraska, y’know? I didn’t do anything about it until I moved to New York, until my parents died, that way I wouldn’t disappoint them.”

This was the first time Stephen ever spoke to him about his childhood, before being a neurosurgeon, before his arrogance and riches. Karl already admitted the trauma he suffered from his own, perhaps Stephen was returning the favor.

He fell silent, allowing Stephen to speak. His hands were shaking more than usual. 

“Ma would be so confused, crying about her daughter. I didn’t want to go through that. I thought I would have to wait until I was fifty, then they got sick and died when I was twenty. Lucky me.”

“Stephen, I don’t know anything about your family. But you care about them very much, please don’t speak that way about them.”

The man was trying to hard to keep himself composed. It was failing miserable, tears falling from his eyes as he looked down, focused on the patterns of the bed sheets. “What the hell do you know about caring for a family?” He spat out.

Karl gritted his teeth.

“I hate this, I hate feeling like this. Now my body is going to let out eggs and blood just to mock me. If it wasn't for those pills I would be pregnant right now from earlier.”

“The birth control, it will fix it soon enough. Just give it time.”

Stephen clenched his fists hard enough to make him hiss in pain. “It’s not soon enough. I want it to stop  _ now.  _ Why isn’t there magic to stop it? Why aren’t there spells to make me feel real?”

How often did this happen and he wouldn’t notice? How often would Stephen spend sleepless nights dreading that he wasn’t who he was?

“I was so happy when we switched bodies. When I had a real, functioning dick and not  _ this _ .” Stephen took a shallow breath, like a hole in a dam that was about to explode, flooding everything in it’s path. “I felt real, for once. Now I’m back to acting like a bitch, crying about everything. I bet you love seeing me like this.”

“No, I do not. You are saying terrible things about yourself that aren’t true. I thought you were happy with your body.”

“I’m good at pretending, most of the time. I did for years. Congrats, you’re the first one to see me like this since Christine found me sticking a needle in my thigh in the supply closet. She thought it was heroin. Would’ve understood more if it was heroin.’

“I understand, as much as I can. You know I have never said anything deliberately to hurt you about  _ this _ .”

Stephen huffed. “Admit it, that’s why you fucked me in the first place. So you could still be gay while following your fucking natural law, and eventually you’ll make me have five kids and keep me inside this Sanctum forever. Turn me into a doting housewife again.”

It felt like a punch it the gut. “How could you say such a thing? What have I ever done to make you think that?”

Without warning, Stephen started to weep against his chest. Ugly, loud sobbing that he hasn’t heard from the man since his first nightmare. Tears stained his shirt, snot fell from his nose. He looked like a mess, the man couldn’t stop shaking. “I don’t  _ know!  _ I’m so  _ angry _ and I don’t know  _ why _ !” His voice sounded so broken and cracked, Karl never wanted to see the man suffer like this because of his own body again. 

“Stephen, I began a relationship with you because I care for you. You make me laugh, you make me happy. Who you used to be means nothing to me.”

“It should! It  _ always fucking  _ did.” Stephen pulled at his hair in frustration. “Every person I dated before care so  _ much _ , and would leave. Why haven’t you left me because of my bullshit like everyone else?!”

“Because you are mine, and I am yours. Stephen, please--”

Finally,  _ finally _ , Stephen looked up at him, still sobbing at torn. “I’m sorry...”

“Don’t apologize, your body is adjusting to all of it once more.”

“I thought I was over this, I thought I was better. I already have enough to deal with the nightmares and my hands, I don’t need this.”

Karl kissed at his lover’s temple, then touched his own, feeling his scars against his fingertips. “ _ Some wounds never heal, and bleed at the slightest word _ .”

“Don’t quote  _ Game of Thrones _ at me.” At least that made Stephen let out a laugh.

“We all have scars, Stephen. Between the two of us, we have many. Please, don’t feel afraid to talk about this with me. I worry for you.”

Stephen’s sobbing finally died down. He sniffed and wiped away his face with the bedsheets. On any other occasion, Karl would scold him for it. This time, he helped him wipe away his tears, helping the man compose himself. 

“Why do you deal with me? How do you tolerate me, after everything?”

Their hands threaded together, Stephen’s still shaking and scarred and Karl’s still calloused as ever. “I saw a light in you that not even  _ she  _ could see, not until much later. I still see it, it is burning as bright as ever. It’s almost blinding sometimes, it’s like looking at the sun. I’m afraid I will melt at the sight at you, but it seems I already have.”

Stephen looked like he was going to cry again. Karl wouldn’t, he wasn’t going to allow himself to. He held Stephen’s face close to his and kissed him. 

“You are the bravest man I know, my most talented student. Believe me when I tell you that I cannot let you go.”

Stephen settled his head on Karl’s lap, allowing his lover to thread his fingers through his hair. He breathed deep breaths, clearly trying to hide any tears that threatened to fall again. 

He pressed Karl’s palm to his lips to kiss it. “Thank you. I’m sorry for what I said.”

“Please, don’t be. I’m sorry they ever crossed your mind.” The Baron sighed. “Do you want to come back to bed?”

“Not tired.”

Karl leaned down and kissed his temple once more. “Do you want me to make you some tea?”

Stephen paused, then nodded. “Yes, that would be nice.”

They got up from their bed together and headed to the kitchen. They would have to talk about this, when they were calmer and more awake, but it was so rare for either of them to open up like this, Karl feared that it might be a while before he could ever coax those kinds of words from Stephen once again. Or from himself.

He glanced out the window, watching the somehow still busy streets of New York City, completely oblivious to who they were. He supposed he could call Wong later and tell him to make the ceremony as quick as possible. They deserved a day out by themselves, without magic or eldritch horrors. 

Stephen took the cup to his lips with shaking hands. He placed it back in the counter, met his eyes, and smiled.

 


End file.
